If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll have noticed that the rumors about Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson and “who they’re doing,” have been running rampant lately. I’ve mostly ignored them, but have seen the article titles go across my screen in the form of Google Alerts. Here is the story, as I’ve concluded, based on the reading of JUST the headlines…
Back during filming, right after Jamie and Amelia had a baby, Jamie was so turned on by the sex scenes that he did with Dakota that the two of them just had to start to get it on. Despite them being separated by oceans after that, they continued the romance. This is the cause of the break up of Dakota and Matthew Hitt. But it appears that the distance eventually pulled Jamie and Dakota apart and Dakota got back together with Matthew. Or maybe, just maybe, that was all a ruse. The two of them planned all those days when Matthew visited her on set and walked off with her hand and hand all those times. Dakota went to see Matthew’s band play, just to keep up appearances.
In the meantime, a rejected Jamie Dornan, distraught at the break up with Dakota has been flirting with fans and then finding them after they stick the keys to their hotel rooms in his pocket. He and Amelia are now planning their divorce, so sad since many believe that Amelia is pregnant! That announcement is expected any day now.
In the meantime, Jamie has also been filming Fifty Shades Darker. No one knows about this filming because they had to pause filming due to the affair between Jamie and Dakota heating up again. Maybe this is in fact the cause of the divorce with pregnant Amelia and not the fans that Jamie is flirting with.
Now that the affair is off due to the pause in the filming of Fifty Shades Darker, Dakota is now dating Jake Gyllenhaal. Perhaps they were introduced to each other by Rita Ora who had a 2 minute part in Jake’s recently released film, Southpaw. Jake and Dakota have been seen on a romantic date. Oh wait, that’s been confirmed by another tabloid to just be a rumor. Sorry about the false alarm.
This is a satirical piece, nothing in it is based on reality